joshua 3

I'm in an unfamiliar place

No homey comforts here.

Not sure of where I'm going,

Not sure what brought me here.

The light is dim, my way obscured,

Dark shadows jump and scare.

A soundless voice then whispers from deep,

"Walk On! I'll meet you there."

A lamp illuminates my feet,

Just one step at a time.

The voice cries out, "Forsake your plan -

Possess this land of mine!"

Trembling still, I walk along

The path secured for me.

At last my eyes behold the land,

But I glance back to see.

There were no shadows there at all,

No monsters over me.

'Twas rivers parted all along.

'Twas waves held back for me!

I'm in an unfamiliar place, peculiar comforts here.

No turning back, my homesick soul.

His will is home for me. 

I cannot claim to have written this...I merely borrowed it from a friend.

gideon

I have never noticed until today how foolish Gideon's faith was...and Judges 6-7 is loaded with a pretty crazy story of believing God.

God calls Gideon to deliver the Israelites from the Midianites, and Gideon basically answers, "who am I?" God meets his doubt with, "The LORD is with you, you mighty man of fearless courage." Wow, God calls Gideon mighty and of fearless courage...and He calls us, His children, the same. Still, Gideon doubts what God says about him, and reminds God that he is "the least"...yet God graciously replies, "Surely I will be with you and you shall smite the Midianites." God will do what He says He will do...and when He calls, He empowers.

Moving on to the number of times that Gideon literally "throws a fleece" out to God... in his uncertainty, he continued to make sure that he had heard God correctly, that God was in fact with him, like He had said He was. And both times, God not only answered but affirmed Gideon! So Gideon went...

(Side note on my further thoughts about "throwing God a fleece"...honestly, I think, why can I not throw God a fleece? I do not want to test God, and I must question the motives of my own heart, but I do think we can ask Him, to reveal Himself, that He is in what He is doing, what He may be asking us to do...and the incredible thing about the Gospel is that we now have the Spirit that dwells within us, when we choose Jesus, so that He can speak to us, lead us, empower us...and Gideon did not have that.)

Now that God had Gideon's heart and ear, He told him how He was going to use his obedience to save the people...and this is crazy...

God knew His people, so in order for the Israelites to not claim credit, God weeds out the Israelite men to go from 32,000 to 300. Yep. God wants the glory. There was nothing about these circumstances that the men could put any deliverance in their own numbers, their own strength, their own "doing." It was going to have to be God.

Then, God essentially tells Gideon, "go eavesdrop on the enemy's camp late at night, and you will overhear a conversation that will confirm my leading." Maybe God knew Gideon's fleshly heart needed to be reaffirmed, that he was not in fact crazy?! Not only did Gideon hear the dialogue, but God gave one of the Midianite soldiers a dream that said Gideon, a man of God, would overtake the Midianites camp. Gideon's immediate response: worship.

The final straw...the 300 men spread out around the Midianite camp, holding in one hand a trumpet and in the other a lantern and a jar. Random maybe...but take note: they held no weapons. At this point, the Midianites turned upon themselves and destroyed one another. Brutal yes, BUT God. Only He could orchestrate this...only He could move men and circumstances and conversations in this way!

When circumstances look bleak, BUT God. Sometimes circumstances are such to not only grow our faith, but to display God's delivering power in a way that it cannot be anyone or anything BUT God. And God still works in and through our crazy circumstances today...they are not by chance...and He puts us in positions that we can take no credit...only worship. BUT God.

supernatural gratitude

When everything seems to be going wrong, when things appear in my human lenses to be going in the opposite direction, when life seems out of control, You call me to thank You...


A supernatural response no doubt.


Yet there is power in unconditional praise...praising Him, not only in spite of the circumstance, but for the circumstance...ruthless trust knowing that in His unsearchable wisdom, He is working out something that is necessary and vital for my good, beyond all I can ask, think or imagine.


I feel like David in Psalm 13...yet he closes the Psalm with, "But I have trusted, leaned on, and been confident in Your mercy and loving-kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me."


Regardless of all David has felt, the lies he has battled, the internal struggles, the constant wrestling...regardless, he "trusted, leaned on, and been confident"...in His God. Therefore, he rejoices. He sings with a heart of gratitude, because "He has dealt bountifully with me." 


Bountifully...liberal in bestowing gifts or favors; generous, plentiful, abundant, overflowing, more than I can grasp, comprehend, fathom...beyond all I can ask, think or imagine.


And this too is my God.


And I too am called to give thanks for everything. What feels unnatural in my skin is a gift of grace to respond in this supernatural way. Choosing the supernatural, regardless how I feel...affirming my trust and thanking You...only then will I experience unfathomable peace.


Because it is Yours...and You have me.

in between

This place of the land in between - the wilderness - where God is clearly doing something but it is way beyond my comprehension or what I even think may be happening...this land in between, what do You have for me there?

When Jesus began His ministry, immediately after He was baptized, the first place God led Him was the desert. The trials Christ faced there are not trials or temptations in the sense of how I think our human eyes can view them. Satan attacked the very character of Jesus and all the truth of the living God in Him, because Satan "wins" if He causes Him to believe something different. And reflecting on my own life right now, I recognize (I still have my panic moments...) that if Satan can just cause me to stray to the left or the right, ripping my attention and focus from Jesus alone, then I will begin to look at myself rather than remain fixed on my Shepherd. And he wins...for that moment.

It is like Peter walking on water...

Here is a disciple who is tangibly living life with Jesus! Here comes Jesus, walking on water towards the disciples, and they panic, calling Him a ghost! Really?! Then Jesus calms them, and Peter says, "If it is You, call me out there"...so Jesus does just that, and Peter gets out of the boat, out of safety, out of his comfort zone, and begins to walk on water toward his Savior. But then he begins to look around, doubting that he actually is walking on water (because that is foolish!) and sees his circumstances, probably begins to get anxious, then starts sinking...until he believes enough to cry out to Jesus, who in His matchless and abundant grace saves him, but not without calling out his little faith. Again, how much do I resonate with Peter?! I have heard God call me out, to "come"...and I have stepped over the safety and comfort and "certainty" of this boat, and began walking...if I for one second begin to look down, stare at my circumstances and question with my human eyes, distracted from my view of Jesus out on the water, to doubt my God...I will certainly sink. And I have...but every time He pulls me up, His scared child of little faith but desiring more, believing Him for things that only He can do.

I want to be called out into the wilderness, away from distractions, out onto the water, where most will not go, and obey Him to go there with Him, where I can know my God more, be prepared for what follows the "land in between"...because He cannot show me what He has better until trust is developed in the "now."

What do You have for me there...to remain fixed upon You, straight ahead, to hear and obey and walk hand in hand, gripping with all I have, because You will not let go, as You grow more of Your Son within me and lead me in Your time and purpose.

present

The only reality is today...now and here. And to be anywhere else is not trusting You.

With my mind preoccupied with yesterday and tomorrow, I am entirely neglecting the present...neglecting Your Presence. When I turn in circles with scenarios about my future, my spinning makes me so dizzy that I am unaware of the loving present...I am missing the only reality: You. Now. Here. Today.

Fears of the unknown future are birthed in and nurtured solely by my mind. A friend shared this with me recently, "It is impossible to have a fear of the unknown. You cannot fear what is not known."

In the absence of my self-analysis, dissecting every thought and circumstance that comes, of my self-observation, what I "should" be doing, guilt and shame mysteriously yet miraculously disappear. Because being fully present, in Your Presence, relinquishes my false sense of control and gives it to You. Even more, I can hear You when I am all in today. So while it may appear "irresponsible" not to have my plans all mapped out, the only Planner I need to know and hear from is You. And unless I live in today alone...unless I remain in the now and here...I will never stay in nowhere with You. I will not hear and know Your Voice. And ultimately, I will not, cannot, just sit with, rest in, and know You. I want to be responsibly irresponsible...or maybe irresponsibly responsible...to Your passion, gifts and call in my life.

In Matthew 6, Jesus commands us not to worry about our life. Basically, He was telling us to chill out and live in the present...in today, with Him, in His Presence. This act of trust is not only entirely contrary to the planned culture we live in, (especially that of the Western world), where its focus is always tomorrow, the "next", but it is like that of a child.

And to be fully present demands child-like faith.

boldness

Interestingly enough, I found myself in Exodus 33…maybe it wasn’t an accident, maybe it wasn’t. But Moses boldness resonated in a new way as I read this time.

God is speaking to Moses as a friend, and this is how the conversation ensues…

Moses wants to know whom God was going to send with him…he knows that God is sending him, but he wants details…and then Moses also reminds God of what He has spoken to him in the past, “Yet You said, ‘I know you by name and you have also found favor in My sight.’” So Moses boldly asks, in light of what God has said, that God would then show him His ways…that He would make known to Moses what He was doing…so that he would know God more deeply, understanding who He is more clearly…and then, in spite of already proclaiming this truth, Moses again asks for favor in God’s sight (which God has already told him multiple times that he has). Moses asks, whether it was because he doubted or was just neurotic I am not sure…but I could imagine the wrestling with lies and fears and doubts was very intense.

God’s response (v.14): “My Presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest.”

It was not a revelation of all God’s plans…it was better. It was His very Presence and the rest of His Presence.

Moses in essence admits his fear, of God sending him without He Himself going. Moses wanted to be where God was…and God’s promise to him was that He would go with him. So now Moses knows that God is sending Himself, yet he wants more. He wants evidence of this, essentially saying in v.16, “Ok God, You say You are coming with me, but how will I know?”

God’s favor Moses, to us, is His very Self…but Moses still wants more. And in His graciousness, God again reminds Moses of his favor in His sight, that God knows him personally and by name, and basically will allow Moses to tangibly know that He is with him.

This part got me. Again, Moses boldly states, “Show me Your glory.”

God’s reply, “I will make all My goodness pass before you and proclaim My name.” God revealed His glory upon Moses courageously but simply asking!

Why can’t I ask this? God wants our childlike faith and the bold simplicity of that…to come before Him and ask...seek…persistently knock…to show me Your glory!

I think Moses believed God’s promises to him to be true yet they were still intertwined with shreds of doubt and fear…yet ultimately he wanted more of God…so he asked to know God more, to know what God was doing, and to see His glory manifested. I also think Moses knew that to see God’s glory was to deeply know His promises. So God, in His grace, did this. He allowed Moses to see the extent of His glory that was humanly possible. And even in this, God’s glory is so great it could have killed Moses…but God’s grace was more, and protected him while still granting his “asking, seeking, knocking.”

So I too ask…show me Your glory Father! Show me Your glory in Your working out Your plan and promises…and in doing so, show others Your glory, whether they know it or not. Show me Your glory God…not because I am testing You or for my purposes but because I believe You and I know what You have spoken and that You will glorify Yourself.

Show me Your glory.

all in

Isaiah 31:1, "Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses and trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, but they look not to the Holy One of Israel, nor seek and consult the Lord."

You said "woe" meaning don't do it...to go back to Egypt, where my flesh wants to turn, where the world often runs to, yet the very place where You have plucked me out of...Egypt not only represents slavery but also the safe way...certainty and comfort, at least to my mind...yet are they really? Maybe they are illusions instead, a false sense of control. To run to Egypt says, "I don't trust You God."

And the tangible masses, "horses...chariots," they seem certain in their numbers...and I can see them, "very strong."

All in to You means free from slavery to any earthly security and worldly comfort...and it also means using the resources You have given me to provide, both skill and the Gospel, to a people who need them both.

I would rather look to You my God, in the unseen, and hope in that, rather than in man and what appears the comfortable and safe route...because You are not safe but You are good. And there is no comfortable alternative...risking it all is the only option.