humility + thanksgiving

Romans 15:13, "May the God of my hope so fill me with all joy and peace in believing through the experience of my faith that by the power of Your Spirit I may abound and be overflowing with hope."

Regardless of my circumstances, You have still called me and are faithful...You know my needs. Yet I recognize my pride in this journey, maybe even my damaged ego.

Again, my  hope does not change because it is in You alone...and that hope is what fills me to be Your hands and feet today. Maybe You just like keeping my "needs" up in the air because it forces me to continually rely on You to meet those rather than my "skills"...and it gives You the opportunity to glorify Yourself rather than me pointing at myself.

It is still so humbling Father...

Yet Paul lived the same.

Galatians 6:14, "But far be it from me to glory in anything or anyone except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through Whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." In the externals of life, Paul lived at the bottom, while his critics (Pharisees) lived in the penthouse. But Paul was so solidly rooted and steady in only You...he was consistent in Your faithfulness, not his own...his external life may have changed without causing him any internal distress because He knew You that profoundly.

So back to what I know is true of You...and that foolish faith is not based on externals. I can be consistent like Paul when I let it all come down to one thing: changed lives through Your Spirit.

Psalm 116:17, "I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving and will call on the name of the Lord." This is how it feels at the moment...thankfulness as a sacrifice, when I do not feel thankful, or at least my circumstances can lead me to feel this way...yet I can walk through the hard and discouraging days with joy because You are Joy...and Your joy dwells in my heart...and the light of Your Presence still shines upon me, regardless.

I think You are teaching me to live here in more ways than I want to admit...and at the end of the day, You know what You are doing, even if I do not.